||[Jan. 28th, 2008|06:09 pm]
Cathy * Ann
i went home this weekend to be with my closest cousin, nicole, at her sweet 16. |
before my dad dropped my brother & i off at the bus station, he told me how disappointed he is of how irrisponsible i am with my money, school work, and life. After working my ass off every day ,all break long, and coming home to support one of my closest family members, i was so hurt to be told that im just one big disappointment. i've never felt so low in my life.
my dad keeps calling but right now i refuse to talk to him. he also keeps apologizing for making me cry as i got on the bus back to school. What an ass, im working my butt off not for myself, but to make him and my mother proud. No matter what i do though, i feel as if i wont be as smart as chris or as hardworking as danny. The truth is am fucking smart as hell and i work my ass off every day...but i just wasent a genious in high school and i also didnt have horrible grades & suddenly made a huge change in my life. I was always just in the middle, doing fine, and working constantly. It just sucks to know that my dad still isnt proud of me. I used to be afraid to go home because i was hurt by mike but now my own fucking father is the one that's putting me down. i just dont know what to do..im scared of what he may do if i keep ignoring his phone calls.
btw, things with the love life are going well. By well, i mean that nothing is happening at all besides me getting over mike. Therefor, im not getting hurt by another jackass and im not missing the previous jackass either. There is a kid named tom here who likes me alot but im sorry tom, i am in no shape or form ready to be in a relationship. He said he'd wait until i was ready, but honestly being single until the 'ditch it and hitch it 30 plan' kicks in, sounds pretty perfect to me.
nikki visits me in 2 weeks =]